Are you afraid of looking into the mirror? To live "Confidently You" starts with self-knowledge, self-acceptance and self-love. Are you ready for this?
"Whether you are dress-up or dressed in a tracksuit...do you always feel confident?"
It is so easy to tell ourselves that: "I'm ok, really. I am happy with who I am and the way I look." But why then, do you sometimes have this feeling of disgust, of feeling inferior when you look into the mirror. You also tell yourself what you would've loved to change about your features or personality, because then you will feel ok about yourself. I've heard people say they wished they could just cut the fat off their bodies whenever they look at themselves! Our poor bodies that carry us around everyday and is essential for us to live and breath in, is just not good enough.
Have you ever considered that maybe your body is not the problem, but maybe the fact that you are not content with who you are? Well, walk through this journey with me in this blog post. Why with me? Because I have been in this place, and from experience I can ensure you, it is freeing to accept yourself!
You are Made in the Image of God
FULL STOP.
Nothing more needs to be said. God, who spoke the universe into existence, He made you in His image. Just this one fact needs to be more than enough to really love who you are, to accept yourself and to have all the confidence in the world. Let’s face it, you are made perfectly!!! Sadly, due to worldly standards, even if we know this, we don’t really GET this. I know this, have always known this. But still, daily, I’m going through a process to get the penny to drop.
TIME FOR A COFFEE DATE…WITH YOURSELF!
Find a place where you feel comfortable, take a pen and paper, and use this opportunity to get to know yourself. Self-love can’t fall into place if you don’t know who you are. Most of us have a pretty good idea of who we are, but it is still so necessary to sit and truly determine who you are and to get to know yourself. Leandie du Rant once said: “No one can beat you at being you!” But first you need to know, “Who am I?”
Here are a few examples of questions you can ask yourself. REMEMBER, be honest! If there’s one person on Earth you can and should be honest with, it’s yourself!
Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
What makes you very happy?
What is your biggest fear/dream?
What do you like about yourself?
What would you want to change about yourself and is it possible to do something about it? (then do it!)
What are your strengths and weaknesses?
What are your likes and dislikes?
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
What are you avoiding, and why?
Why is it important to get to know yourself better? It’s an important step in accepting yourself. O yes and you’ve guessed it, to eventually start loving yourself!
SELF-knowledge = SELF-acceptance = SELF-love
SELF-ACCEPTANCE
How do you know when you’ve truly accepted yourself?
YOU STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!!! Ok, so I thought that I knew myself and have accepted myself. But every time I scrolled through profiles on social media, I felt inferior. Every time I walked in the shops and saw how beautiful and well-groomed some of the ladies looked, I felt shy, because I have a bad hair day. Or I haven’t had time to paint my nails. Or my clothes don’t fit as well as it’s supposed to…etc. etc. Just then and there I start feeling bad about my appearance, but also, I don’t feel worthy or loved on the inside. Crazy right! I know! How can we determine our self-worth by looking at how well-groomed others are on the outside? This is also such a terrible cycle. I compare myself to Suzie, Suzie compares herself to Riana and Riana again to me… And sadly, we mostly don’t win during these comparisons, do we?
SELF-LOVE
“Fix her crown without telling the world its crooked,” is a well-known saying. It’s time that we start acknowledging the successes of others and celebrate WITH them instead of being jealous OF them. Give them the complement that you feel they deserve and that they probably need to hear so badly. Example, acknowledge that Suzie’s hair looks amazing. Tell Suzie, “Your hair looks amazing”. In your heart, be happy for Suzie. Then you look at yourself and acknowledge and complement yourself as well! If not your hair that day, maybe you were on time for a change. If you can start doing this as a new daily habit, not feeling jealous of others and accepting yourself, you will get to that very important place of SELF-LOVE.
It’s like Yolanda Burger said, “be your own good friend.” You won’t break your good friend down, but you will also not let her leave the house with mascara mush under her eyes. You’ll be honest with her in a loving way. Treat yourself with that same kindness. Be KIND to others, and yourself!
BODY LANGUAGE
Have you noticed that some women look like they can literally wear ANYTHING, and they will look amazing! That is possible with confidence. My hubby always says that the sexiest thing about a lady, is her confidence. Not WHAT she’s wearing but HOW she’s wearing it.
This confidence is shown off by your body language.
By looking people in the eyes, pulling your shoulders back, standing or sitting upright ( not slouching), pulling your tummy in and greeting someone with the hand using a firm grip, you will not only look more confident, but also feel it.
CONFIDENT STYLE!
Let's run through our journey so far:
1. You’ve accepted yourself for who you are,
2. You’ve stopped comparing yourself to others and
3. In the end, you have discovered self-love in your heart.
4. So, you pulled back your shoulders and now you’re ready!
If all of the above is in place, you will probably now start feeling confident about yourself, and therefore ready to find your style and feel confident in they outfits you are wearing. We can now also determine what hairstyle, makeup and haircoloring will make you look your best YOU. Isn’t it Ironic (like Alana Morrisette will say), that only the last step of being Confidently You is about how you look. Luckily for you, this is also the easiest step.
You can work with me for a few hours, where we determine you Colour and Style. Then I can teach you how to dress accordingly, which hairstyles and colours will suit you, we can sort out your current wardrobe and go shopping for new options. This is the fun part. This is also the part where you can show others who you are through creative expression. This is not where we change your image and personality to appear like someone else.
IN SUMMARY
God made you perfectly
SELF-knowledge = SELF-acceptance = SELF-love
Be KIND to others and yourself!
Body-language is important
Determine your colour flow and style personality
Wear your style with confidence and love yourself!
O, and remember the important words of the very clever Dr. Seuss:
“You will never be youer than you.”
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