Why is it so tough to not give in to impulse buying, or to not eat the entire packet of chips after deciding to only have a third, or to stick to our exercise goals or quiet times we have set out for ourselves?
Galatians 5:22-23 says this, “But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Have a look at these scenarios:
You walk into the shop to buy bread and milk, but you see a clothing sale. Do you walk pass or is impulse buying the natural next step?
When having a meal, you feel your body telling you that it had enough food. Do you listen and put your knife and fork down, or do you continue eating and dish up a bit more because the food is just too good - at every meal?
You have made the decision to get up earlier in the mornings to exercise/have quiet time/study etc. The alarm clock goes off. Do you get up as the plan was, even though it's tough or do you rather snooze and convince yourself why the extra sleep is better for you?
Why is it so tough to not give in to impulse buying, or to eat the entire packet of chips after deciding to only have a third, or to stick to our exercise goals or quiet times we have set out for ourselves?
The simple answer: SELF CONTROL.
Self-control, an aspect of inhibitory control, is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior in the face of temptations and impulses. (Wikipedia)
Why do we struggle so much with this?
Self Control speaks to me about maturity and motivation.
MATRURITY
When you look at children, it's evident that they don't have control over their emotions and decisions. They make decisions impulsively and when my little girl feels angry, tired, hungry etc. she will easily have a meltdown. Why? Because she hasn't learnt yet how to acknowledge and control her emotions and decisions. On this level is it "acceptable" to still act this way. Everyone has grace for the child, because you know they still need to learn and master these skills. But it is important that you guide them through this process to teach them. If nobody teaches them the right way, they will continue down this road. Tantrums and impulsive decisions will then stay the norm.
As we get older and mature, we learn that we cannot just act impulsively when it comes to decisions, turning our thoughts into words or just tantrum when something doesn't go our way. These are all signs of maturity and what we need to strive towards if we want to fit into society and have acceptable behaviour. The Bible also tells us that we cannot stay "babies, who continue drinking milk" all our lives. We need to mature and start eating solids, grow and live with Godly wisdom. The responsibility when we are immature lies on our leaders/parents to teach us about self-control, but as we age and mature, the responsibility shifts to us. We need to take the task on our shoulders and can't keep blaming other people and circumstances for the lack of self control in our lives. We need to "renew our minds" daily and re-program our thought patterns in our brains to create new habits and the belief that we have enough self-control to execute these new habits.
In Galatians 5, we receive the assurance that when you have the Spirit living in you, self-control is one of the characteristics you have as a part of your character. We should just still learn to apply it in our daily lives.
MOTIVATION
This is the second point I want to touch on. The drive behind your action will help determine how easily you will succeed in applying self control to your habits and actions. Mostly, when we feel others expect something from us, or if someone is dependent on us, it's much easier to follow through on tasks. Example, if you are extremely tired, but you know your kids need food/lunch boxes, you will pick yourself up and do it. Or if someone asked you to bake a cake, design an invite, write a blog and you know they are waiting for it, then you will find the drive to get it done.
Let's be honest, whenever you have self-given tasks and nobody is waiting for a result, the drive is not as strong anymore and procrastination starts kicking in.
How do we get our self control, under control?
Change your mindset. If you don't change the way you look at this specific task, you'll probably always have a lost case.
Work on your self-talk. After changing your way of thinking, get your self-talk to match the new thoughts. Instead of saying, "I'm terrible with admin." Rather say, "admin is challenging, but let me find a way to simplify it. I can do this!"
If it's a self given task, find accountability. Find someone who will keep asking you about your self-given-deadline. You will still feel that drive to not let the person down by continually telling them you haven't even started.
Create new habits. Don't see these tasks and lifestyle changes as something you need to overcome every time. Rather aim for small but achievable changes to create long lasting new habits and renewed thinking.
Celebrate your victories. Big or small, when you have succeeded in getting your self control, under control for a specific area of your life, take a moment and celebrate this. It will motivate you to keep on going and growing.
Stay blessed.
Janine Nortjé
Commentaires